Could Noah Build The Ark Today?
(from the internet}
Yahweh spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.
But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet.
I am ordering you to build and ark." And, in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for the ark.
"O-K", said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."
"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered Yahweh. You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long long time!"
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. Yahweh looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.
"Noah!" shouted Yahweh, "Where is my ark?" A lightening bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Yahweh, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there was some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the arks construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about a fire sprinkling system."
"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board."
"Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls."
"Next I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking only two of each kind."
"Just when the suit got dismissed, the E.P.A. notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."
"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!"
"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire."
The I.R.S. has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."
With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky.
Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he ask hopefully.
"No," Said Yahweh, "The Government already has."